go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
