I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
