I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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