so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
