based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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