I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
