I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
