Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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