Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
NoShamevember. You game?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
