i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
