i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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