Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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