it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize