do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
