$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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