You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
