Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
