I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
