I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize