woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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