Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
