The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
