she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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