Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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