I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
