I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
