the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
