And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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