We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
