i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
