i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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