Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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