I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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