im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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