everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
