I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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