the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
