Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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