i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
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