I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
