NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
