listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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