Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
His nipple licking is glorious
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