38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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