Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
