FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
