let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize