What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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