just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm both gender and math confused
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
