The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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