The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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