lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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