Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
should my penis look like a turkey
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
