Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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