on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
