You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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