john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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