Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Randomize
