Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
