Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
