You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
