I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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