I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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