Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
