New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
All I want is dick and wine.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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