whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
