she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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