Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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