Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
