Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
