He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize