just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
