Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
