Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
