hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
