I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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