just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
